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MGS: Madoka VS Mami
Madoka
33%
 33% [ 2 ]
Mami
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 67% [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 6

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 Mother F***er Madoka Magica

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zenkai97
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PostSubject: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:50 pm



Once upon a time, Madoka K**tname wakes up in the morning and says, "Are you ready for Madoka?"

She got up from bed and went to a treasure box and obtained two bags of small Doritos. She then proceeds out of the door. Outside she walked by and found her father, Tomohisa, in the garden.

"Can't your f***ing father master**** in this f***ing house?" asked the dad.

"Make me breakfast you s***hole," commanded Madoka.

"F*** off, Madoka K**name." hissed Tomohisa as he continued master****ing.

Madoka then went to go wake up her mother.


Last edited by zenkai97 on Tue Sep 27, 2016 7:53 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:00 pm

Rei spat angrily at the alarm clock which woke her, admittedly fulfilling its tiny purpose in life, and strode from the bed to silence its squawking. As she stepped, a tinkling shattering sound near her foot drew her gaze.
Great.
Her Moon P***, the last good connection to the great Moon Goddess, a vessel through which the magic flowed, lay broken before her.
Rei began the arduous process of breakfast-making.

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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:06 pm

Madoka went to the kitchen and looked at Rei with confusion as she shouted, "Who the f*** are you and what did you do to my mother?"

"I'm a demigod." replied Rei, "Now shut the f*** up and eat my s***."

"Fine, but where is my mother?" asked Madoka.

Somewhere over the rainbow, Junko, Madoka's mother, is sitting on it drinking some Jack Daniels early in the morning. In her 69th bottle she does not seemed drunk yet. Time for number 70.

Back to the story, Madoka ate breakfast and left to school. On her way, a party hat attacked her.

"Oh s***" replied Madoka as she punches it.

The Party Hat only received 36 damage. It launches at Madoka dealing with 3 damage. Madoka then lands a critical of 108 damage, defeating the Party Hat. Madoka gained 74 exp and became level 2.

"Hot." replied Madoka. She then ventures toward school where there are more Party Hats in the way.
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:14 pm

After Madoka refused to eat her sock, Rei was disheartened. However, this was shortly reconciled with the fact that she, **** Rei, was declared a demigod.
"Good," she snarled emphatically and munched down on a piece of toast. "That means I'm halfway to realizing my godliness." Rei took the bus to school most days, but the thrice-cursed Parties Hats stood in the way, and so, calling upon her phoenix heritage, Rei smote the demonic Hats with flame and did clear the way to the bus-tei. Tossing her hair Homura-style, Rei whispered, "it's a language pun," and boarded the bus.

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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:25 pm

(Is it ok if I just join in?)
 
Kyubey was passed out drunk in the park, again.
The sun, which had long been his mortal enemy, peeked it stupid yellow face from behind a cloud and shone its infuriatingly bright rays upon the resting incubator.

Kyubuey awoke soon afterword, hungover and extremely agitated, but was still somehow able to 360 no scope the sun.

"now I'm made in the shade" Kyubey quipped, as a pair of radical looking sunglasses magiacally appeared on his face.

Deftly defeating the annoying star b******, Kyubey gracefully tripped, falling off the bench he had previously been sleeping on. He then stumbled out of the park and made his way toward the school.
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:29 pm

Madoka finally caught up to her frie... ha ha ha. What a joke? Sayaka and Hitomi stared at Madoka who does not find any pleasure seeing them.

Sayaka then spoke up, "Madoka, my f***ing soul is gone."

Madoka sighed, "Use one of the spares you f***ing b****"

Sayaka argues, "But it's not the same."

"Let me guess, you want me to go find your f***ing soul." guessed Madoka.

Sayaka nodded, "Yes."

"I f***ing hate you." said Madoka.

"While your at it, buy me an esoteric sex toy." said Hitomi.

"No."

"But I need it."

"No"

"But I need it."

"No."

"But I need it."

"Jesus f***ing Christ, I'm sick of your s*** already." complained Madoka, "Why do I have to do everything for you f***tards."

"Because we own you." said Hitomi.

"Because you love us!" cheered Sayaka.

"I f***ing hate you all." whined Madoka.

Madoka will do these side quests later. Right now she has to go to school with these two morons of companions.
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:29 pm

Sure you can join in.
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:45 pm

**** Rei, as fabulous as the sun was bright, gracefully stepped from the bus and onto the school's grounds. When she crossed the boundary between the Real World and the GakunasasounaSekai*, she noticed Madoka and Kyubey.

"What's up, sluts!"

Even though she secretly wanted to be friends with everyone, she did not have enough SwagPointsTM to unlock those dialogue options as of yet. Perhaps if her useless drunk of a player grinded more.

Rei coughed and began fumbling with her bag awkwardly. She decided she was too sober for this nonsense.


{*TL note: gakisquawnasekii means 'the school welt', or 'world of school'. We didn't translate it to show yall we have 日本語 swag.}

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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:53 pm

"oh heeeeyyyyyyy b****"
Kyubey said, waving before falling flat on his face.

The floor did 50 damage to Kyubey.
Critical attack!
Kyubey used groan.
"Ack my heeeaaaad"
It wasn't very effective.
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:14 am

"Eyyyyyyy KyuBAE!" Shouted Rei, her speech slipping into a lower linguistic register to prove she was cooltm. Also because the dude was a cold mother farmer who sometimes scared even **** Rei.
"What classes you have, friend? I'm probably gonna skip math because math? Ha. Math is crap. If you wanna know why then steal a hen."

Rei was also a renowned freestyler, or something. No big deal, except to Rei's father who hated her and her M O T H E R who also despised her so much she frickin moved. From this plane of existence, actually, as in dead, it's really quite sad but as V-chan would say, say law vee so.

"How goes your quest for Ultimate Swag, by the way?"

Rei decided, as a demigod, it was her job, but also her sworn honor and, dare she say, duty to move the great cosmic plot along. Or at least to move something along, which reminded her she had yet to relieve herself of an intense, incoming bowel movement.

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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:31 am

Rei replies, "It f***ing sucks."

Madoka notices you, "Hey, aren't you one of those Sailor Scouts?"

"What of it?" asked Rei.

"Get the f*** out of here!" shouted Madoka.

"No. I want to do more than hanging out with that blond [censored]." said Rei.

"Then you should have hanged out with Team Four Star." replied Madoka.

"I will get you soon." said Rei as she left.

Kyubey looks at Madoka and asked, "Make a contract with me, b****!"

"Engulf my [censored], enragement incubator." replied Madoka.

"I got some cool s*** if you want." said Kyubey as he presents Madoka his wares.

Madoka purchased some doritos, body armor, and a new skill called twin tail kick with her yen.

"Now f*** off." said Kyubey as he went to someone who was about to get into their car and stabs them in the back. Kyubey then stole his keys and drove away.

"That was f***ing stupid." said Madoka.

Madoka then went back to class where she will have to meet the new student named Homura Akemi.
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Tue Sep 27, 2016 7:48 pm

Saotome-sensei approached in front of the class and said, "Hello class, my boyfriend is a douche and I broke up with him."

"She's a sl*t!" shouted a student.

"F*** you!" said the teacher, "Anyways, I only cheated on him ten times. What did I do wrong?"

"F*** you that's why." said Sayaka.

"Silence you soulless piece of garbage." said the teacher, "Any who, we have a new student. Her name is Cristina Vee."

"It's Homura Akemi asshole!" said the emo girl outside.

A girl with long raven haired, or Homura Akemi, appeared came into the classroom. She did not care about anyone in here, well except for Madoka. Homura stared into the pink haired girl's eyes as Madoka looks back.

"You're my waifu now." said Madoka.

Madoka Cheers Homura
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Sun Oct 09, 2016 11:29 pm

After class, Homura is dealing with a bunch of stalkers.

"OMG. Your hair is pretty!" said a girl.

"I'm feeling [censored] right now." said another girl.

"Buy me an esoteric sex toy." said Hitomi.

Madoka comes in and says, "Engulf my [censored], enragement bitches."

"Oh sh*t! It's Madoka Kuntname!" cried one of the girls.

They all ran away while Hitomi stayed there and asked, "Buy me a..."

Madoka interrupted, "Later!"

Madoka then eyed on Homura, "Come help me sh*t around here."

Homura blushed and said, "Okay."

Homura joins the party.


The two then went out of the class and imitate that scene in episode one where there were at that tunnel like bridge in the school.
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PostSubject: Re: Mother F***er Madoka Magica    Thu Oct 20, 2016 1:39 am

Anyone can continue this if they like for the record!
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